20 Months In...

Creating new work

no gigs - no revenue - no identity…

Well, I have helped some other people get gigs and perform in front of small audiences and I have run dozens of livestream events and even been in front of the camera a few times but I must say that it is very hard to feel hopeful.

A dozen years ago my trajectory as an artist took a turn (ask me about it sometime) and my little music company started earning enough money to begin to pay some bills. Even support our arts venue start up - Bez Arts Hub. In fact the 1st 3 years of Bez were substantially sustained by my gigs and now 95% of my revenue has dried up. All my effort has not gone into keeping my music alive but rather, keeping the venue alive. It just seems like the right thing to do. But the farther down this road I go, the more I feel a massive grief.

I’m sure that all the touring and working artists have felt some this over the past 20 months. But now with things opening up, I’m not sure what to think or feel when I hear of lots of sold out shows everywhere. I feel like I have disappeared, like I should have spent my covid time on TicTok building my brand. Instead, I put in 12-16 hour days learning broadcasting and live-streaming and working to keep our venue alive and our audience connected so that when things open up we will be even stronger…. Did I miss it? Oh ya, and I’ve never put effort into getting followers on Spotify and streaming services… I could have earned at least $20 more over covid if I had done that, silly me.

To the few people who will read this and who do enjoy the music that I have created over the years, thank you for your support and taking the time and listening. I know that the dozen albums I have made and the myriad of tours, trips and gigs I have done have been a source of encouragement to many including me, and having the privilege of a season of making a living at what I love to do is a great gift.

I would love to perform music again with a band if there might be a presenter looking for the kind of thing I do. I have so much music and life in me and at least 3 albums of material waiting to be recorded and I feel like it’s some of my best work. I imagine recording could happen if the gigs start happening. Then I think maybe people who know my music may only want the hits from the 90’s…

Please send me some hope.